How to Find a Therapist (Without Getting Lost in the Search)
One of the things I did as a volunteer for a local organization in Gilbert for survivors of violence was help connect them with therapists who could help them heal. Sometimes they'd move out of state. I'd do the searches and the pre-screening calls myself before I gave them the name of someone to see.
It became one of my favorite things to do.
Finding a therapist can feel like a second job. It doesn't have to be.
Start with someone you already know
Do you know a therapist? Do you like them? Then ask them who they think you'd work well with.
If you trust them, tell them a little about what's going on. They can point you toward someone who works with exactly what you're looking for. Maybe that's a couples therapist who can help you open your relationship. Maybe it's a therapist who won't judge you for feeling like you have an eating disorder and who also holds a HAES mindset (Health at Every Size, which means they won't treat weight as the whole story).
Those therapists exist. And we want you to feel safe with the person you pick, so ask us specifics.
No therapist in your Sphere? Do some detective work.
Also, if you like your doctor, your physical therapist, your personal trainer, your stylist, ask them who they see or recommend. Chances are that SOMEONE in your sphere is going to therapy and having a good experience. If their therapist is full, they can at least direct you to someone.
If you somehow don’t know ANYONE who is having a good experience in therapy or knows a therapist, type what you're actually looking for into Google. Be specific. Use your own words, the way you'd say it to a friend.
Then scroll past the ads and open the websites. Read the blogs. You can learn a lot about someone from how they write. Do they sound like a person? Does something make you exhale a little? Find the one you like.
Write your questions down
Before you reach out, jot down whatever you're wondering about the process. How does this work? How long might it take? What happens in the first session? You'll want the questions in front of you, because everything leaves your head the second the phone starts ringing.
Call at least two people
Schedule a phone consultation with at least two therapists. Get a feel for them.
I know this part is vulnerable. You're sharing what you deeply feel, think, want, and believe in a 15-minute call with someone you've never met. That's a lot to ask.
But it's the best way to find out if this person is worth your time and your money. A website can only tell you so much.
Let's talk about money
Therapy costs real money, and that's a hard part of this. There are still ways to work with it.
Don't rule someone out because you assume you can't afford them. Three sessions with someone who works in your niche might help you more than twenty sessions with someone who doesn't. Be honest about what you're looking for and what you're able to put toward it. Then let them tell you what's possible.
Ask about a sliding scale. If the therapist you want can't make the fees work, ask if they have a sliding scale, or a wait list for one. If the sliding scale is full in August, check again in September.
Be open to group therapy. Some of the best therapy happens in a group. You might find everything you need there. Or it might cover the gaps between the individual sessions you can afford.
It can take time
There are no guarantees in this field. You may talk to a couple of therapists and decide none of them fits. That's the process working.
I'm not the therapist for every client, and I'm so happy there are this many options out there. It makes me believe we can find the one for you. Whatever therapist you talk to- please assume they want to help you find the best fit, and don’t be afraid to let them know if they aren’t it, and ask them for referrals.
I still remember hearing back from one of the survivors I'd connected with a therapist. They were thriving. They felt connected to their therapist. It actually made me sigh, relieved that someone was now on the path to healing.
That taught me so much about the process. It can take time, but it's worth the effort.
Here for Your Healing,
~Molly
P.S. That organization no longer exists, but I am so grateful for the time I got to spend with Winged Hope and I will be forever grateful for all that I learned from the amazing survivors I met.
P.P.S. Photo by Mark Eder on Unsplash
P.P.P.S. I am thinking about starting a service, where I help people find the best therapist for them. If you would be interested in that service, email me to let me know. I’m still helping people find the right therapist for them. hello@convergencetraumatherapy.com